Tackiest Blues Apparel Ever

So, it’s August. There’s a lockout looming around the corner, the Blues haven’t done diddly squat, and hockey news is slim. This is the time of the year that I like the least, because I get to either do one of two things: not write because there’s nothing to write on or I can pull stuff out of nowhere. I’ve done that a few times this week on St. Louis Game Time, so allow me to do so here.

For your viewing pleasure, here are some of the worst pieces of St. Louis Blues attire that I could find on the internet. It’s sad, but the first two are actually team sanctioned. They’re student night giveaways, and they’re terrible.

First off, here’s Teej: 

And here’s Petro:


Trendy. After the jump, more tackiness.


Not quite sure what’s going on with this one. It’s like the 1990s barfed, and then this sweatshirt happened. Love the addition of the Campbell Conference shield, because that should always be on a sweatshirt. “MY TEAM PLAYS IN THE CAMPBELL CONFERENCE!” yelled no one at the top of their lungs out of pride.


I never understood the addition of red to the team colors, and the fade effect doesn’t help. The script that “National Hockey League” is written in is old fashioned, and the rest of the shirt isn’t, so again, this one makes total sense. Also, is it just me, or is the color blue of the shirt REALLY bright?


Outstanding. This shirt’d look great on someone with a huge chest. “What team do you root for?” *reads BLUUUEEESS* across chest “Oh, never mind.”


So, is this shirt tye-dye? Blue camo? Did someone toss in a new blue towel into the wash, and this is what happened? 


So… much… happening… here… and all of it is ugly. 



Yeah, the team’s named after a song, but who calls them the ‘Notes? Anyone? If you do, stop.


Why is this in the Chips Ahoy font? Instead of a chip over the “I” it looks like a tiny poo. Unfortunate.


The mannequin STARES INTO YOUR SOUL, warning you not to make the same mistake he did in wearing this hat.


This hat is not vintage, nor is the logo appropriately vintage except for the blue color — it needs the red and the “St. Louis” written on it. Generally, though, it is vintagely ugly, so I’ll give it that.


That’s what I could find using Google Image Search. If anyone digs up any others, please post the link in the comments.

About Laura Astorian

Laura Astorian is the head editor for the SB Nation blog St. Louis Game Time and has been a Blues fan from childhood. She promises that any anti-Blackhawks bias will be left at the door. Maybe.