St. Louis Blues Possibly Sign Kyle Wellwood; Press Box Buffet Gets Well-Stocked

Few people have had to endure fat jokes like Keith Tkachuk. Show up to one training camp with a few too many cheeseburgers and tacos from Jack in the Box in your stomach, and deal with years of fat jokes. Retire and put on some weight, and it gets no better. Big Walt is a St. Louis fixture, though, and is a beloved Blues alumni who brings his kids to games to point out how there’s no one who can get in front of the goal and deflect shots like he could.

Well, I guess until now. If Walter had a few fat jokes made at his expense, then Kyle Wellwood’s had about a billion. No one else has a hashtag on Twitter dedicated to their propensity to not show up to camps and games within a healthy playing weight. Well, get ready for some fun, St. Louis. If he clears waivers by noon tomorrow according to TSN, Kyle Wellwood is the next recipient of your best “how many toasted ravioli did he eat last night?” jokes. Blues GM Doug Armstrong is chalking this up to a bunch of TSN rumormongering, but seriously – who makes up a rumor like this? It’s just not even nice. The Blues, who have an odd inability to score and maintain leads, have signed someone waived by his KHL team… who was before that not signed by the Phoenix Coyotes after a pro tryout, who was waived by the Vancouver Canucks, and who before that was waived by the Toronto Maple Leafs? I’m not sure if this is someone that St. Louis needs to go after right now. Yes, it’s hard not having Oshie and McDonald and Perron around, and yes Wellwood’s ok on the face-off, but does he add anything that one of the AHL callups doesn’t? I’ll believe it when I hear it, but until then, I’m researching gooey butter cake jokes. Does anyone have any good ones?

About Laura Astorian

Laura Astorian is the head editor for the SB Nation blog St. Louis Game Time and has been a Blues fan from childhood. She promises that any anti-Blackhawks bias will be left at the door. Maybe.